Unsolicited advice.

I was in between meetings when I saw the giant red lights…the glorious red circles of Target.

I remember seeing a meme one time that said:  “You don’t go to Target because you need something. You go to Target and let Target tell you what you need.”

True story.

Somehow I walk in for laundry detergent and I walk out with five plants, a new comforter, a cardigan, charcoal face masks and a dog bed. I don’t even have a dog.

So, while I was in the beauty aisle debating whether I needed a new cream to attack my fine lines, I was approached.

“Hi Amanda! I have to say I miss seeing you on TV!”

“Thank you!”

“I really enjoy reading your blog!”

“Thank you, I appreciate that!”

“I have to tell you though…that shade of lipstick is just awful on you. Way too dark. Too much. Keep up the great advocacy for children.”

Well ok.

So I smiled wryly like the Grinch and shoved a giant piece of soft pretzel in my mouth to serve as a muzzle.

She walked away and I stood there continuing to shove the pretzel into my mouth.

I looked in the mirror to examine my choice of lipstick and wondered, “is it too dark? Maybe I did put too much on?”

A stranger had me second-guessing myself.

Maybe she didn’t know that I just bought that because I wanted to try something new for fall.

Maybe she didn’t know the reason I bought it was to feel a little better about myself.   Truth be told, I saw pictures of myself in that blue dress from the weekend…and I wasn’t impressed. The Spanx weren’t miracle workers after all 😉 So hey, I will wear some dark lipstick to draw the eyes away from my body-in-progress.

Maybe she didn’t know I was going on three hours of sleep because the baby is teething.

Maybe she didn’t know.

And that’s the problem. I could drop some motivational quotes here about “you never know someone else’s struggle” blah blah blah.

My struggles aren’t that severe. Bottom line…I loved the shade of lipstick. So I bought it. And wore it.

Let’s break it down to its simplest form: nobody enjoys unsolicited advice. Nobody. I don’t even like unsolicited advice from my own mother.

Please step in if you notice my child is buckled in her car seat improperly. Please step in if I am being disrespectful or rude. Please step in if my children are being disrespectful or rude.

But if it’s something superficial that you don’t like about someone…maybe count to 10 before you decide to “offer your opinion.”

Because at the end of the day, does anyone’s shade of lipstick affect your day? Maybe that person is too busy trying to help make a difference in their community to be worried about their appearance anymore. Maybe that’s one of the reasons they weren’t sad to leave the TV business.

While some reading this might think, “why are you worried about what one person said? Why would you even blog about this?”

I have been at the brunt of not-so-nice, unsolicited advice for 18 years now. I don’t want to offend or embarrass anyone by writing this…but I have to put my foot down because I am more than a shade of lipstick.

I am more than a hairstyle.

I am more than my wide hips.

I am more than my fine lines.

I am more than my choice of clothes on the weekend.

I am more.

And to the woman in that beauty aisle of Target…

You are so much more than all of that too.



9 thoughts on “Unsolicited advice.

  1. Amanda, you are more than even the lipstick you are a beautiful, unbiased, open minded, advocate, mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, aunt, boss, coworker, sounding board, intelligent woman that speaks her mind and cares for everyones children. Stay you with your red lipstick and don t change Cedar Valley needs you

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Next time someone approaches you with unwanted advice, whip out ur phone and take a selfie together…….tell her u want to use it for your blog 😏

    Liked by 1 person

  3. People AMAZE me and what they say to others. YOU look good in any shade of lip stick that YOU want to wear. I probably would have gotten it out of my purse and put more on!!! You are BEAUTIFUL no matter what!!!! Next time tell them to keep there Rudd comments to themselves!!! Did their mother not ever tell them if you cant say something nice don’t say anything at all??? Love your blog. Keep being YOU!!!!!


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