“Stand here with me…sit next to me…I have to be able to see you…please hold my hand…no, I need you here…wait for me, I will go with you.”

These words. I said, whispered and shouted all of them over and over to my kids over the weekend.

It was Friday night.

There was a crowd of people.

I stood there…and scanned the crowd…over and over.

Would I see Jake somewhere?

Was there someone there who knows something?

I saw kids laughing…dancing…eating funnel cake.

I felt sick knowing that Jake should be there…but he wasn’t.

There are no answers to what happened…so as a mom…I feel uneasy and I ask the same question every day: Are my kids safe?

My son walked over to a fan to get some cool mist…he was only about 20 feet from me. When I turned back to look at him, he was gone. I went into complete panic mode. “Where did he go? Did someone grab him?”

He was standing behind me. I thought I was going crazy.

I hated the way I was feeling.

I hated that I was hovering.

I hated the fact that I was looking around and examining small details.

But until there are answers…do I have a choice? Does any parent have a choice?

I do it everywhere we go now.

I scan the room…I hold my kids’ hands a little tighter…they go everywhere with me.

But I would be lying if I didn’t say this out loud: somebody kidnapped and killed Lyric and Elizabeth. That “somebody” is still out there.

Where is Jake?


3 thoughts on “Uneasy

  1. You are sooo right. It’s very sad that our world is so scary. Sure was different when I was little and I’m 69. I remember county fairs…if you saw someone you knew you went there even if it was half a block away. Momma and Daddy kept an eye on us but didn’t have to hover over us. Not that bad stuff didn’t happen but it sure wasn’t that common, either!


  2. Thank God there is a woman around here that speaks the truth. And is unpologetic about it. Thank you Amanda!


  3. I feel this way all the time my daughter is going to be 17 years old in July. She tells me all the time why do u stalk my Facebook mom? Why do u want me on Twitter this is why. I want to make sure she is safe I even have a app on my phone that tells me where she is


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